As I suspected, the “analysis” after the State of the Union has been woefully leaning to the left. The MSM (mainstream media) forever deny allegations that they have a liberal bent, but their words and actions prove otherwise. Despite covering countless news stories or conducting deep analysis, the “Watergate” issue reached fever-pitch. Incessantly, Sen. Rubio’s taking a sip of water was repeatedly thrust upon their readers/viewers.
Whether it is politicians, the media, or liberal-agenda group, they all use the same tactics to attack anyone who doesn’t ascribe to their views. Some of their dogma includes name-calling, mischaracterizing, omitting key points, redirection, and offering vague data. So, I thought I’d don the hat of a libby and employ the same. I’ve linked a lot of references so you can see for yourself. Sure, there’s a lot of hyperbole, but why not? Enjoy…
Those sons-a-bitches of the RWSM (Right-Wing Stream Media) are at it again! Like always, those name-calling mother-bleepers are up in arms about media coverage of Republican darling du jour Senator Marco Rubio’s bumbling and rambling retort to The Savior’s…err, President Obama’s State of the Union address. Which, if I might say, was so exhilarating, I felt this thrill going up my leg. Curmudgeons like Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh (to name a few) are absolutely apoplectic about honest, fair reporting done by news outlets. Those gutless bastards consistently hiding behind facts!
Well, we’ve got some “facts” of our own! The following proves that we are not wrong. So take this you jack-asses…oh, wait, that’s the symbol for our party. Call us vulgar and obscene…how dare they. Compare these minor flaps to Rubio’s creepy yet sublimely entertaining major gaffe (which makes him unqualified to run for higher office).
(Charles Rangel) A few minor errors resulted in a censure, which means he was told not to do these things again. We cannot fault mild forgetfulness from a heroic and courageous leader for such small things. Congress was deeply divided (333-79 and 267-146) in the two votes over this the censure.
(Robert Menendez) Is it wrong taking trips to the Dominican Republic on a political donor’s private airplane? Just to appease skeptics, Menendez wrote a $58,500 check for not doing anything wrong. As for having sex with under-aged prostitutes, who will you believe? A respectable member of the U.S. Senate or a girl who sells herself to any john that comes along?
(Benghazi) Despite the sheer madness, right-wing projects its darkest Obama fantasy. In truth, the tragic death of a U.S. Ambassador in Libya was due to angry mob rioting over a video blaspheming The Prophet Mohammed. Salaam alaikum with all due respect because we would not wish to offend any religion. Shut up Christians, you hate-mongers! (Yes dammit, that’s what REALLY happened. Piers Morgan and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz will tell you. It is irresponsible and un-American to suggest these bald-faced lies about cover-ups.
(Frank) Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) authored a bill to assist low-income people in getting mortgage loans. The banks have so much money anyhow and must help in redistributing to the less fortunate. Barney’s motives were pure, there’s absolutely no proof that this caused a meltdown of the entire U.S. economy. Judge not people!
(GSA) The General Services Administration spending $800,000 for a 5-day conference in Las Vegas led to uncover a few other expenditures that were slightly more than they should have been. A scandal made worse when Rep. Issa (R-CA) tried to politicize the hearing by asking the GSA director if he thought the “government and its reach should be expanded.” This of course is the common Republican criticism of Democrats. Those republicans are always trying to misdirect by inserting something into the narrative that distracts from what the story is about. By the way, President Bush and Rep. Issa both supported minting coins similar to the one’s GSA had given out in Las Vegas.
(Geithner) The U.S. Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner inadvertently forgot to pay his taxes for a number of years. He was probably too busy making money and forgot to file with the IRS. Luckily they conducted an audit for him, letting him know about his mistake. Highly Exalted One Obama confirmed this stating, “But it was an innocent mistake. It is a mistake that is commonly made for people who are working internationally or for international institutions. It has been corrected. He paid the penalties.” So he says, so it is, amen.
(Obama) RWSM continues a witch-hunt into the philanthropic work to create green jobs. Supremely Revered Obama (Oh! Another tingle in my leg!) has worked tirelessly to expand this growing field by investing in companies like Solyndra. What does their top executives donating to the Obama Presidential campaign have to do with saving the planet. Apples and oranges! Besides, Solyndra is doing great now. Check out the awesome work they are doing in Belgium!
(Rubio) During a horrible “rebuttal” to the State of the Union address, Rubio (possibly one of the Reptile People) gave a performance that could only be described as “tinker toys, a kid’s presentation of a philosophy reduced to maybe the 9th grade level.” So eloquently put by the brave and courageous Chris “Tingle” Matthews. Undoubtedly some air-brained, cretin from the damn conservatives will make a personal attack on the estimable Matthews. Shameful! How low they stoop. And then…wait for this…Rubio, in the middle of his “presentation” took a drink of water!!!! What the hell?!?!?! Are you kidding me? Water! In the middle of his diatribe!!! I almost feel the need to drop an F-bomb over this!!! Let us all, the reasonable, clear-headed folks call for an investigation into this. Watergate II, that’s what this will be. I’m certainly glad to see we stand united in this effort to point out the gaffe. Watching coverage since this atrocity, everyone has this covered. Like a grassroots movement, it’s taking on life of its own. Damn conservatives clinging to their…bottles of water and religion! Take that Paul Ryan, you vitriolic spewing “Gaffaholic”!
The following chart demonstrates the severity of the errors made in the scenarios given above. As you can see, Rubio clearly committed the worst error of all the given scenarios. The data represented is reflecting information collected from a scientific analysis of polling from a reputable scientific polling service.
Rubio clearly has a credibility issue due to his drinking problem. Rubio is often touted as the GOP’s possible 2016 Presidential candidate. Undoubtedly conservatives will accuse us at the honest and fair news outlets of running a smear campaign. But really, 2016 is so far away. Far be it from us to start shaping America’s mind on the next GOP potential candidate. Please, we stand firm on our record and do not need to result to such low tactics. But Rubio really is a goober isn’t he?
We’re B. Hussein Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Muslim Brotherhood, LetsBeGayTogether.com, U.S. Department of Welfare and Giving Away Free Shit, Piers “Six-Shooter” Morgan, Anderson “I-Pretend-It-Is-News” Cooper, all the other media personalities and “cool kids” loved by Christopher Dorner, Communist Party of America, Socialist Party USA, Debbie Myhairsometimeslookslikeafloofa-Wasserman-Schultz, 11MillionPrayers4CompleteNoPenaltyOpenTheBordersAmnesty.org, some dude name Bob, and we (probably) approve this message!
Okay, so that was a bit of fun. I’m not suggesting the conservative media doesn’t use some of these tactics as well. But, the liberals are far more aggressive and blatant about it and thus make themselves such an easy target.